CCM: Future, is this result of your journeying through this particular season of fear and doubt. So is it smooth sailing from here?
JF: Oh, no. No. It’s been my prayer over the last couple months that I don’t do this again, that it is smooth sailing, but it feels like this is a trend that happens every two to three years in my life—of me not trusting. I’m just such a planner. I love having my hands in everything, and I’m creative, so I’m also thinking, If I just could do this, then I would be able to achieve this next thing. I love fixing and scheming to grow, it’s like a puzzle. But the problem is we’re not the one putting the puzzle together. We can continue to shove these puzzle pieces in the wrong spot, and the Lord is just gonna go, “No.”
I feel like the lesson that I’m learning throughout my life, whether it’s through middle school and high school, or marriage and our move to Nashville, and through my career, is that salvation is a process. Trusting in God is a process. I don’t know one person with the kind of faith to abandon all things and say, “Yes, Lord, just take it.” Our relationship with God is a constant growth. I don’t think He would want it any other way. I think He loves the fact that we’re constantly growing. And the more we grow, the more we hunger for Him and for our time with Him. I think that’s a really healthy state to be in.