I’ve known about ApologetiX for years, but I’ve never really listened to any of their songs….that is until today. Where do I start? LOL

ApologetiX has been writing Christian music lyric parody versions of popular hit songs for nearly 30 years. If you’re not familiar with them…and not easily offended…you should check them out.

The ApologetiX parody of Queen‘s classic “Bohemian Rhapsody” is called “Bethlehemian Rhapsody” and centers on the Biblical story of David & Goliath. It’s hilarious…and also it’s the Best Thing I Heard Today!

Is this a real guy? Is he just fantasy?
Cause of his grand size, no one’s safe from fatality
Open your eyes, look up at Goliath, and see:

GOLIATH:
I’m dressed for war boys, I need no infantry
Because I’ll meet the one you propose
Israelites, pick my foe
Anyway, I’ll win, so it doesn’t matter to me

DAVID:
Mama, there’s still no man who can come against this threat
You might figure now we’re dead
Mama, Goliath is testing us
And know he’s gonna know they’re all afraid
Mama, he’s a mean and crazy guy
He’ll come back again this time tomorrow
Daring us, Scaring us- cause he wants to meet in battle
Hooray! My time has come
Been a shepherd all my life-but I’m taking on this giant
Goodbye, everybody, but not for long
God will lead me all the while I face this brute
C’mon (David you’re a wimp though) I’m not gonna die
The One who wins my battle is Lord over all

GOLIATH:
I see a little silly shepherd, not a man
What are you trying to prove? You’ll be chewed up and mangled!
Send a boy to fight me? A very very tiny flea!

DAVID:
Gol-la-liath! Gol-la-liath! Gonna die you big galoot!
I’ll kick your butt!
I trust the Lord but nobody trusts me

CROWD:
He trusts the Lord but suffers from insanity
Daring to fight ‘gainst this monstrosity

DAVID:
Evil comes, evil goes- you will get deposed

GOLIATH:
I will not, no! I will not get deposed

DAVID:
Yes, you will (repeat)
Your head will roll

GOLIATH:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Come-to-me-a! Come-to-me-a! Let the eagles pick your bones
Beelzebub and his devils gonna fight for me for me for me

DAVID:
So you think you can scorn me and spit on my tribe?
So you think you’re above me just based on your size?
Oh, baby, you ain’t just duelin’ David
You’e gonna get it now- cause God’ll win my battle here

CROWD:
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

DAVID:
Guys I’m really flattered-yet it wasn’t me
God wins every battle- God wins every battle for me

VOICE:
David will be king soon

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