Surrender requires me to yield. I go down swinging, especially if it’s something I really care about, and yet when I surrender, it’s such a relief because I become the right size. I become the child and God becomes the parent. That doesn’t mean I’m a child with no responsibilities—recovery is an active program, it’s certainly not passive—I do the work. What I surrender is the results. And where my life takes me. And certainly what choices other people make, because I can’t do anything about that. I love that lyric, too. I identify with it one hundred-percent.
BH: I believe most people think that being a Christian is being good. And being “good” can also translate to being “better than.” So it really contradicts the life of Jesus. Being “good” feels like such an unattainable goal.
CCM: It is, essentially.
BH: Maybe what Rich was doing was retraining—we will never be “good enough,” but grace covers that need for goodness, because really redemption is what we need. We don’t need to be “good,” we just need to be redeemed, and understanding what that is and who that is through. It’s only through Jesus that we understand the full love and grace that God extends to us, that will change us from the inside out. It doesn’t mean that we’ll be perfect. We’re still on the road. If I have arrived at wherever I’m going, then I’ve nothing else to learn, and if I have nothing else to learn, then, frankly, I don’t think I have anything else to offer.
CCM: Have you learned to receive grace?
BH: I’m learning, yeah. I’m learning. It’s not always easy.
* Derived from conversations around the new book, Winds of Heaven, Stuff of Earth: Spiritual Conversations Inspired by the Life and Lyrics of Rich Mullins (buy) by Andrew Greer