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To attempt to explain what it’s like to live with an eating
disorder is like attempting to explain to a child why it
makes perfect sense to jump off the top of a 20-story
building. There is no logic. There is no sense to be made.
That’s why it is a disorder… it’s an illness… and in our
culture, sadly, it’s become more often fodder for tabloids
and a slander to throw at would-be celebrities than a
legitimate medical condition with legitimate medical
How do I know?
Because I’ve battled them for 14 years. I wish I was
exaggerating… but it has been that long—now, over half
of my life.
I never intended to incur a life-long battle with a mirror,
scale and food. But when I was 13, a few negative self-
perceptions snow-balled into some bad decisions that
have become—in my head, at least—more like a habitual,
comfortable routine than a disordered behavior. And
that is where I hope to reach others. To several people,
an eating disorder may seem like a diet gone wrong. And
in reality, it may start out just that way… an innocuous,
benign attempt to shed a few pounds gone horribly
I’m still very much in the thick of my journey. I want to
say and believe that I’m much better than I am, but that’s
incurring a hefty dose of denial. Because I still struggle so
much, I am so passionate on helping others sidestep this
path entirely. I’ve seen the way my family has suffered—
not knowing what to say, not knowing what to do and
spinning their wheels in helpless, frustrated attempts to
do something. And I’ve been in treatment facilities where
I’ve seen others, much like me and my family, wrestle this
demon within their heart and relationships and within
When we look around at our culture, the sad truth is
that eating disorders, by in large, are quite acceptable.
It’s not that big of a deal for one to skip some meals day
after day after day. After all, we’re all busy, stressed and
sometimes there just isn’t time to take care of ourselves.
Those, my friends, are lies.
God never intended our bodies to become pieces of
commerce… traded for another late night at the office or
sacrificed to fit into those jeans you’ve kept under wraps
for so long. His intent was for our bodies to be respected
and honored as vessels by which to worship Him.
Regardless of the size or shape, our bodies were created
with a very specific purpose—to love and serve our
Creator. That can’t happen when they are starved, abused,
broken and weak. Moreover, there’s a huge dichotomy
in professing love and honor to the Creator of all while
expressing hatred and dissatisfaction over the body that
very Creator crafted just for you.
The long and short of it—eating disorders can steal
your life, heart and soul. They can break your body down.
They can kill you. If they don’t, they can damage those
relationships which you hold most dear.
Friends, if you or someone you know is battling the
demon of self-image and low self-esteem, please do
whatever you can right now—today—to sidestep that
path. Reach out. Let someone know that you’re struggling.
There are resources. There are places to find help. There
is hope. As a starting point, log onto ANAD.org. Here you
can learn more and possibly open the door to the help
that you need.
Don’t give up. As long as you’re still breathing, there’s
And as long as you are created in the image of God
(which we all are), you are still wanted, loved and
cherished more than you can ever comprehend. If you
or someone you know is struggling, reach out. It’s never
too late to reach out your hand for help. So go ahead…
reach… dare to hope… and believe that God authored
all hope from the beginning of time. He’s got you. All of
you. Trust, believe and accept. You are exactly as you are
meant to be.
inside an eating disorder
With caroline lusk